SLENDERMAN VS. HOLLYWOOD

If there is one horrible, disgusting creature that wants to wrap it's tentacles around your wallet it's Hollywood. This is what happens when said creature figures it can exploit the interweb sub-culture for movie ideas:


They didn't even have the decency to make him look like something other than a homeless Ezio Auditore da Firenze.

Yes, The Tall Man. The imdb page offers the synopsis of :"When her child goes missing, a mother looks to unravel the legend of the Tall Man, an entity who allegedly abducts children." The fact they're using Jessica Biel as the hook should be evidence enough this thing is gonna blow monkey dick across the land.


I mentioned monkeys so this relevant... I think.

Why would they do this, you ask? Because Hollywood is greed in manifest and they need money, all those starving movie execs need their coffee, dammit. As for why they chose to turn a meme into a movie, your guess is as good as mine. I doubt this thing is targeted to fans of the Slenderman himself but rather the result of a prophecy that foretells of an upcoming shift of interestet towards a semi-popular idea that resulted in an accountant-bred script that was hashed out to make a quick buck. The people who made the decision to make this movie, the same breed who forced the reboot of Spiderman though for slightly different reasons, have been at this game for a long time and they can probably smell upcoming trends like my dog can smell bacon through a lead wall. I'm not saying memes are about to take a sudden leap into mainstream pop culture but... what if?

They're starving.

The Slenderman is a legendary meme and I won't go into the back story of the character here; however, if you're interested, MemeBase offers a thorough description of how the guy came to be and how the Internet blew him up into the modern mythological, web-based powerhouse he is today. If you don't feel like sifting through all that crap here's my description: He is a faceless, skinny, tall, pale dude in a suit with tentacles (sometimes), and has a thing for stealing kids and standing creepily in the background.

He was photo bombing before it was cool.

To me he can be seen as a metaphor for the average American's fear of the government, a faceless entity with many arms preying upon children and the unwary. He has no apparent rules to where he can be and he is always watching his victims day and night, even in their own homes. He is frequently portrayed in wooded areas distanced from civilization which could also be symbolic of the tendrils of man pushing out the nature-based monsters of the past and extending into the wild, leaving no place untouched. He is a modern day boogie man, a representation of our society's fears and paranoia and there is no safe place from his grasp. I find this all very ironic considering the commercialization that is actually happening to him as represented by the release of this movie, and thus proving once again how Hollywood loves to rape the good out of everything.

I couldn't resist.

If you're truly craving a Slenderman film-based narrative I suggest the pretty decent Marble Hornets series on YouTube. It's told from the first person, shaky-cam perspective of a college student who's trying to track down his friend who is apparently being stalked by the elusive Slenderman for unknown reasons, though in this series the monster is referred to as 'The Operator' but who gives a shit? It's still Slender and it's worth a watch, especially if you're into the Paranormal Activity/Blair Witch style of storytelling.

This is a screen from Marble Hornets.

But that's that. Who knows, maybe I'm just talking out of my ass (not surprising) and needed something to post this week. Regardless, here is a small Slenderman gallery I've dug up from various sources around the web. Take a gander and try to get some sleep tonight (click the picture to enlarge).

The Splendidman

Fun.

Buzz Slenderman

Hint: Look left.

This is the most disturbing to me.

Ha. Nostalgia.

I don't...

Slenderhitcher

BATTLE OF THE CENTURY

Style.

Daw.

Maybe he's just trying to recapture his youth... GEDDIT?!

:D

More creepiness.

My people will call your people.

Slenderman by Tim Burton

Dr. Octoslendamang

No smiles in the slender parade.

His true motivation.

Completely irrelevant but this randomly came up during my search and I had to share.

Combating Complacency

I think everyone has the dream of doing what they love for a living. For those that can keep their heads straight and objective in sight a professional passion is an attainable goal if the dreamer has the talent and the drive. However I think most people are afflicted by the same plague that keeps me from seeing most of my grand schemes to fruition, the chronic vidjagametittiosis (legit).

Save the ta-tas

Losing focus on a project is an ailment that has afflicted me since I discovered video games and boobs. So, since second grade every time I set out on a project that takes longer than an afternoon to accomplish (Lego's, trapping lizards, climbing a tree) I tend to get sidetracked by the most basic of distractions, the two most common offenders being already mentioned.

semper gumby

When I start a project it is usually because I've been inspired by something, a movie, a book, a video game, a person, or just seeing something and going, "dammit, I can do better that that asshole." So I plan it out, I talk about it with my friends and maybe get a small support network going, tell people about it and start cranking out the framework and then maybe a week or so later, I just forget all about it. My vidjagametittiosis kicks in and I'll start playing a game or reading a book or pick up a weird hobby like wood burning or didgeridoos and get completely side tracked. All that planning, all that ground work is gone. If you know what I'm talking about by this point then hold on, because I may have some help for you that's better than anything prescribed by a prick in a lab coat.

That cure I was talking about? Oh, I lied I don't actually have one, that's what I'm talking about. But I do have a few ideas in mind which I will discuss... now.

Notice how it is blank.

1. Schedule - A routine is something that is tough to break. If you masturbate every night before you go to sleep for a week, chances are it's gonna be hard to break that routine, you may not even be able to sleep without doing it. I am aware that masturbation may not be the most common example of this but it's a human habit and it seems to work for what I'm getting at. The best time to set up a routing is first thing when you wake up in the morning and your brain has a chance to distract you from your goal or right when you go to sleep so you have a steady time slot available for whatever it is you are working on. This is all based on crap I've read but I know that it works because it's how I programmed myself to exercise 3 days a week. If I don't do it I go crazy, and if it works for flexing the gluts it's gotta work for a writing a novel. For further reading check out https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits.php

SUPPORT, GET IT?!

2. Support Network - A lot of professionals claim they never could have gotten where they are today without having a support network. Stephen King talks about it in his book On Writing and so does Robert Rodriguez in Rebel Without A Crew. Having a group of like minded individuals whom you can count on and share your passion is a huge plus to any project. "But Draco, what about the fine gentlemen of Raptor Inc.? How can you be so lazy when you have such an amazing team of professionals supporting you every step of the way?" you may ask. Well my answer to you is this: We're all lazy fat people on the inside if not on the outside. The fact that we have weekly meetings is a miracle. You should have seen the time we tried to make a video game LOL.

RAPE IS IMMINENT

3. Self Discipline - You can't do shit unless you force yourself to do it. Even if you feel awful and there is nothing you would like more than to NOT work on your project that day you HAVE TO. Why? Because if you don't you will start writing articles about growing complacent because you lost your pace. It's just like running a 10k, you have to find your rhythm and once you get it you have to keep it. You can't charge ahead and burn yourself out but you can't go so slow your 56 year old XO beats you (personal experience).

Working on the movie has taught me a lot about where I want to be in life and how I want to live it. So many people out there have found a way to make a living out of what they love, and a damn good one at that and I'll post some examples after I conclude this article. After 4 years of service in the Navy college is looming right around the corner. Do I focus on my passion and get an art based degree or do I play it safe and go for engineering and keep my loves on the side? Do I take a risk or cheat myself? I don't know. I know that 'starving artist' isn't a euphemism and I know that the economy is rough and if I can't even get off my ass to crank out and finish something that I know I love with all my heart, how am I going to convince others to take a trip through the worlds and with the characters I have created? Thus the dilemma.

Here are those links (keep in mind there are tons of crap like this, these are just the few that seam to have the biggest impact on me):
http://www.penny-arcade.com/
http://cinemassacre.com/
http://boburnham.com/
http://www.alagaesia.com/

Future Projects : Movie Script

At the last meeting we discussed writing a movie script to film at the end of next year after we have finished making the Shoe Dude game. I asked everyone to write a synopsis of their ideas so we can at least have a foundation for what kind of story we are trying to tell in our movie.

Now I know everyone loves MoO0OoN but there comes a time when we have to look beyond that and make something that actually makes fucking sense. Thus the writing team from Raptor Inc. is on the case!

Here are my ideas:

Everyone's Seen A Ghost
A young boy enters the woods to go fishing at a creek. He encounters the devil looking to harvest a soul, and willing to make a deal.

Survival
Four witless lads get lost in the forest after a night of rampant booze and Pokemonand become lost on their way home. Now the four must try to pull together and form some sort of intelligence to find their way out and survive the forest and all of it's inhabitants.

I Got This
A boy who recently moves into town uncovers the dark and seedy history behind his new home.

Awkward Date
The most awkward date ever.

I Guess We Could Make A Movie
A group of friends attempt to create a film, hiring actors and hunting for props and finding a story in the most unlikely of places. Tey sit down to watch the film at the end which repeats itself into the beggining of the movie.

That's what I got and I could elaborate further on all of these ideas but I'm interested in seeing what the rest of the team comes up with. Later, gents.

Video - New Video Projects For December

In case you didn't know it the whole crew is getting together in December between the 27th and the 15th for a New Years bash and also to create some cool new stuff. Among these ventures are new videos for the Raptor Inc. YouTube channel (which you can see random clips from among the other videos playing on this blog).

In order to prepare for production we will need skit and script suggestions at least if we can't come up with some actual material to go on, if we have time we can even even storyboard them and grab some props before we have to do a mad dash into Wal Mart as usual for everything we could possibly need. Last time we got off with a giant paper bag of ketchup packets and a german shepherd. Don't worry about that if you don't understand it. Anyway, email your suggestions or post them as comments on this article and let's get ready for hilarity.