Reach for the Tuesday: 15 February 2011

Another Tuesday Halo practice for the books and a glorious day for Raptor Inc.. When you look upon these results I want you to smile and think of all the good we do for the world by spending our free time playing video games. Sure there's hungry homeless out there and children that need mentoring but you know what? They're homeless for a reason and those kids need to learn for themselves that AIDS is forever and heroine only leads to being a celebrity and making all your wildest dreams come true.

She knows.

Why hello there first round of the evening! Dillon took a good lead and we did surprisingly well considering we had no warm-up and we rushed right into ranked play. We may have been playing against people who play with their controllers in their mouth. A Type 2 gamer if you will. More on gamer types in an article to follow. I got 7 assists this round, I couldn't kill shit but dammit I was a team player.

We had a good strategy the whole day, stay close to someone. If you got seperated from a team mate, you get back as soon as possible, don't worry about them coming to you, you go to the group and hold fast, find a choke point and let the other team beat themselves against it.  

The placings were the same as the first round. Dillon was sick this whole day and we have found he plays better when he's closer to death. When we play a tourney I'll be sure to poison him before the game and promise the antidote only upon a performance I deem worthy of life. We had a good 10 point lead in the beggining and then began to dick around and almost lose but we won anyway. If you're Blue and on Pinnacle than you're garunteed to get all the power weapons before Red team except for one sniper rifle so that doesn't hurt either.

The most interesting match of the day was our final match. We got all cluster fucked at the begining because no one called out what weapon they were going for like we usually did, we kinda just went with it. Needless to say we ended up holing up in one of the bases (we were playing on Asylum) and go with our usual strategy. When we started to break Dillon had the fantastic idea to sneak around behind the enemy team without telling anyone and attempt to assault them on his own with a brash display of daring heroics. He was murdered. When I asked him what he was thinking he responded: "I got this".
 We kept the fight up in an otherwise close game, it should be noted that Darris tried to pull a Dillon lone gun manuever later in the match and we had to ask him if had become Dillon, to which he offered a resounding no. We beg to differ. This was a clan match by the way. And the other clan? Look at the results.
Overall 'twas a a damn good day. I honestly think we got lucky but hey, we took out some rival clans and had fun doing it and that's all that matters. Viva la Raptor Inc..

Side note: I was thinking today about things that I hate and chihuahuas came to mind. I fucking hate chihuahuas. Any person who claims one of these creatures is a sad being indeed. You only need one of these rat shit things if you want something that could possibly be more pathetic than your own sad existence. They piss and run at the sight of anything bigger than a soccer ball, they bark like a smurf cracked out on ice, and they feel like a wriggling, twitching sack of epileptic slinkys. Fuck you, that's a damn good analogy. Oh, and they're disgusting bug eyes give me the creeps. I make sure that if I am ever forced to be around one of these creatures I wait until we're alone then I kick the living shit out of them. Then giggle my mother fucking head off.



I hate you so much.



Rant - Dreamworks is a Fucking Slut

Shrek was a good movie. The second was good as well. The third? Not so much. Oh, are you shitting me? Another one? The final chapter my ass, I assure you that if they get the chance there will be another Shreak movie.

Dreamworks Animations has always been three steps behind their main threat, Pixar. Every once and a while, they will stumble across a good script (How To Train Your Dragon, Kung Fu Panda) and get lucky as hell.

Well, now their going to fuck those series up as well.

Jeffery Katzenburg, the chief animation director at Dreamworks just hinted at the fact that 'How To Train Your Dragon' could get two more movies, and that 'Madagascar' might get two more as well. And that's not all. 'Kung Fu Panda' could be up to six movies long. SIX.

It seems like Dreamworks just wants to milk their franchises for all their worth before even attempting to try something original.

Lets remember some of the craptastic attempts at squeezing in on Pixars originality. First there was 'ANTZ'. This movie wasn't bad at all, but it was practical made to compete with Pixar's 'A Bugs Life', a movie that started development shortly after 'Toy Story' was finished. Next there were a few 2D animated movies that weren't too bad, and actually had some originality. Then came 'Chicken Run', a movie that actually had a lot of charm and great animation (thanks to the fantastic British studio Aardman Animations, who unfortunately went on to make CGI dump Flushed Away... ugh).

Then comes many more movie, ranging from 'meh' to just plain bad. How To Train You Dragon was actually a very well made movie, and Megamind was passable. But this is nothing compared to what Pixar's been up to.

Well, let them whore themselves out. I don't care anymore. If anything, Pixars has shown that animated sequels don't have to be phoned in shambles. Toy Story 3 was fantastic. A sequel is being made to Cars as we speak., and even though Cars wasn't my cup of tea, I'm sure it will be as top notch as the rest of their works. Hell, while they work on Cars 2, they also have Monster's Inc. 2 in the works (a movie that definitely deserved a sequel) as well as working on an all new original movie, 'Brave'.

So Dreamworks... six Kung Fu Pandas? How about you do five and make something original again.

Column - DraconisTheory's Best Column Ever : McDonalds

I fucking hate McDonalds. Not like "oh man I hate it when I stub my toe in the doorway" but like "I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF AND SHOVE MY COCK IN YOUR EYE SOCKET UNTIL YOU DIE" kind of hate McDonalds. What sparked such a fury that I had to post about this, you ask? I got a double quarter pounder meal today. On the soda it said: "refresh with JOY let the little bubbles tickle as they quench your thirst." On the bag the "food" came in it said this cheeky little phrase: "celebrate the JOY with a little crinkled crunch on your Angus Third Pounder." I know what you assholes are thinking, "what's so wrong about that?" Well I'm glad you fucking asked!

McDonald's head is far up their golden arches they don't even realise how much people hate their god damn food! To say that eating at McDonald's provides some sort of "joy" is to say that the Holocaust was kind of fun. I haven't been happy to eat at that hell hole since I was young enough to enjoy the cheap ass plastic shit toy thing they passed off as their latest marketing attempt to get people to buy their shit by getting their kids to say "I WANT THAT NEW GAY ASS SHIT TOY AT MCDONALDS 'CAUSE THERE IS A MOVIE OUT RELATED TO IT!" I hate kids but that's a rant for another time. Sorry about the caps lock, really that shit is retarded but it's the only way to properly convey my proportional rage other than this: FUCK.

To tell the truth I absolutely hate myself every time I eat at McDonalds for forcing my body to digest whatever shit they pass off as food. Ask anyone you know what their favorite fast food joint is. If they say McDonald's they're fucking insane and are lieing to themselves and should be forced to give up their first born son to Ronald McfuckingDonald's zombie corpse. Might as well! There needs to be a damn Krystal's in Hawaii...