Assassinate your Thursday 09 June 2011

THIS PRACTICE MADE ME FEEL LIKE

YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA

So any fucking way this is how the whole shit went down. We didn't win a single fucking match. NOT A SINGLE FUCKING MATCH. I don't know what the whole deal is with using smoke bombs offensively, if someone knows please enlighten me because I'm getting tired of the shit. Not only that, it seems like everyone not on our team had the spirit of a fucking eagle and x-ray vision because even if you were completely covered and they didn't have Templar Vision they could still spot you in a perfectly good group of people. I was so sick of this game at the time of writing that I literally wish I had e. coli or something. Fuck everything.

FUCK

THIS

GAME

FOREVER

Reach for the Tuesday 07 June 2011

Let's take some time out from our busy E3 coverage to discuss some HALO PRACTICE!

They're excited!

In our first bout we did good and this is because we were up against controller-in-mouth retarded people.

We are the best, ever.

 On our second match, once again lone gunning the whole thing and throwing caution to the win we come out victorious.

Yay.

Now behold the turning point, my friends. We were on a new map called Kingdom (new for us anyway) and we got tore up. One of our opponents had a diamond rating, this means he was a Halo BAMF and we got rolled. It was just an unfamiliar map though, right? Can't be a bad sign!



Aw.

Until this. Yeah. We lost again. We put up a good fight in the beggining but our heart wasn't in the fight and we scattered about, lost coordination and got destroyed. No fun, my friends.

In short the problems are the same as before. Lack of map control and communication.

A Week of Practice! 03-06 May 2011

This is me at Cinco de Mayo!

Yes.

On to practice!

Isn't this a shitty fucking picture? I think so. Oh well.

Fuck yeah, we won!

Another awful picture. You can't even see our scores.

We were 1 for 4 on Tuesday and that's just fucking gay, especially since we took some time out to legitimately practice on a couple maps. It has become apparent that our lack of teamwork and strategy is showing. We have decided that the only way to become better isn't necessarily on a personal skill level (although that would help) is to have unique and independent strategies that are specific to each map and each spawn.

We are awesome!

More awesome!

I can't believe AC:B is actually working!

4 for 4! We're generally pretty good at this game but I think we would benefit from increased teamwork, map strategies similar to Halo and better pairing and cohesion. The targeting system in this game blows.

Reach for the Tuesday: 20 April 2011

I know it's been a while since I've posted practice results so let me just say...

Man, it took us a minute but once we started working together we rolled pretty hard.

Ryan always bitches about sucking and then goes on to have the highest score of the team.

Man, we suck ass. This went down to a lack of communication. We spent most of this match arguing with each other to the point Fat muted Dillon and I lost my cool and Ryan giggled.

They were the better team. They kept the pressure on us to the point where we couldn't move at all out of our base.

In short, the complaints are the same. Lack of communication and map superiority. We need to focus on map specific strategies that are more thought out than "I've got the sword, Dillon, get the turret, Fat, get the sniper rifle, and Ryan, look pretty!"



Reach for the Tuesday: 09 March 2011

Uh oh! Get read for some craaaazy stuff! Not really.

I thought this was cool at first but the more I look at it the gayer it becomes

We had a very good first match, Dillon and I were almost the same person. We still need to get used to the new play system that's going on with arena, it's no longer pro slayer but much more arcade like in nature meaning new weapons are available that weren't before and new opportunities for play arise. But like in all other endevours we will adapt.

We were getting rolled on this map. The other team had the lock down on the upper levels and we couldn't stay together long enough to function and operate, they grabbed the power weapons and they pineed us down. The best player on their time was a sniper and a damn good one at that. Surprisingle Dillon got most of the kills and he wasn't even sick.

I blame myself for this one. It just felt like I was out of it I guess. I saw Dillon charge after people with his shields down instead of falling back to let himself recharge and I just lost it. There was a lot of screaming and no teamwork.

Well we came back and won the last game at least.

So overall it was a 2-2 practice session but I won't be satisfied until we're 4-0 like on our AC:B practices. The new expansion came out so that should be interesting and also I would like to bring up the pacing of FPS. The debate was that Call of Duty was faster in Halo. In Halo it is harder to die, this is true. You have shields and super powers and it makes things interesting. Call of Duty is all about the perks and crap and you die quite quickly. I don't think the strategy is there, however. A lot of the kills in Call of Duty are luck and bullshit. I think as a tactical and proffesional game Halo takes the cake. Go me.

Reach for the Tuesday: 15 February 2011

Another Tuesday Halo practice for the books and a glorious day for Raptor Inc.. When you look upon these results I want you to smile and think of all the good we do for the world by spending our free time playing video games. Sure there's hungry homeless out there and children that need mentoring but you know what? They're homeless for a reason and those kids need to learn for themselves that AIDS is forever and heroine only leads to being a celebrity and making all your wildest dreams come true.

She knows.

Why hello there first round of the evening! Dillon took a good lead and we did surprisingly well considering we had no warm-up and we rushed right into ranked play. We may have been playing against people who play with their controllers in their mouth. A Type 2 gamer if you will. More on gamer types in an article to follow. I got 7 assists this round, I couldn't kill shit but dammit I was a team player.

We had a good strategy the whole day, stay close to someone. If you got seperated from a team mate, you get back as soon as possible, don't worry about them coming to you, you go to the group and hold fast, find a choke point and let the other team beat themselves against it.  

The placings were the same as the first round. Dillon was sick this whole day and we have found he plays better when he's closer to death. When we play a tourney I'll be sure to poison him before the game and promise the antidote only upon a performance I deem worthy of life. We had a good 10 point lead in the beggining and then began to dick around and almost lose but we won anyway. If you're Blue and on Pinnacle than you're garunteed to get all the power weapons before Red team except for one sniper rifle so that doesn't hurt either.

The most interesting match of the day was our final match. We got all cluster fucked at the begining because no one called out what weapon they were going for like we usually did, we kinda just went with it. Needless to say we ended up holing up in one of the bases (we were playing on Asylum) and go with our usual strategy. When we started to break Dillon had the fantastic idea to sneak around behind the enemy team without telling anyone and attempt to assault them on his own with a brash display of daring heroics. He was murdered. When I asked him what he was thinking he responded: "I got this".
 We kept the fight up in an otherwise close game, it should be noted that Darris tried to pull a Dillon lone gun manuever later in the match and we had to ask him if had become Dillon, to which he offered a resounding no. We beg to differ. This was a clan match by the way. And the other clan? Look at the results.
Overall 'twas a a damn good day. I honestly think we got lucky but hey, we took out some rival clans and had fun doing it and that's all that matters. Viva la Raptor Inc..

Side note: I was thinking today about things that I hate and chihuahuas came to mind. I fucking hate chihuahuas. Any person who claims one of these creatures is a sad being indeed. You only need one of these rat shit things if you want something that could possibly be more pathetic than your own sad existence. They piss and run at the sight of anything bigger than a soccer ball, they bark like a smurf cracked out on ice, and they feel like a wriggling, twitching sack of epileptic slinkys. Fuck you, that's a damn good analogy. Oh, and they're disgusting bug eyes give me the creeps. I make sure that if I am ever forced to be around one of these creatures I wait until we're alone then I kick the living shit out of them. Then giggle my mother fucking head off.



I hate you so much.



Reach for the Tuesday: 08 February 2011

First game of the day. We suck. No literally. From the get go our cohesion was shit, we had no direction and we spent more time arguing with each other than actually playing. Dillon was basically carrying the team which was inexcusible because it's fucking Dillon. I am pissed at this point.

Oh look we pulled it together to win a game! We are up against a shite team on Cage, we held down the castle center of the map and worked together to pull off a clean victory. Red took the lead about halfway through the match and I thought we were lost but good communication and the ability to poke an eye ball out of our assholes saved the day. Not to mention power weapons.

Rolled. That's the only word I can use to describe what happened to us. We're good, don't get me wrong but we're not COMPETION good. We're the kind of good that happens from playing video games all our lives and can twitch off some good shots, but when it comes to competitive play we're not all there. I believe this is because A. We don't get into the game. B. We argue with each other more than we talk strategy. C. We have no plan. These are issues to look over. The Blue knew where we were at all times, pinned us down at out spawns and made sure we could never regroup in time to fight them off. We would focus on one and then get pummeled from a different angle. The assist count says it all.

We could have one this one, we were up against 3 guys who only had the jump on us because they knew where the power weapons spawned. We were playing on a map we didn't know (Anchorage) because Ryan didn't have the map pack until tonight and we basically got out equipped. We were Native Americans fighting off the American Army. Didn't work. Don't you bring up Custer's last stand on me, that was a fluke. Fuck you. I hate you all. Thank the Gods Thursday is AC:B practice.