Halo 4: A Desperate Quest to Save Your Digital Girlfriend

"I won't let that happen."

"And if it happens anyway?"

Since Halo's first installment in 2001, Master Chief has been portrayed as an unstoppable force of nature on the battlefield of the future. He can obliterate entire battalions of advanced interstellar life with his bare hands, survive a fall from orbit, and inspire the forces of Earth with his presence alone. Yet for all that, for the very first time in his decade spanning career, we see a side of Chief that no universe threatening alien, cosmic death ray, or physical wound could produce.We see him question what he is. We see him falter. We see the man behind the helmet. And I will not tell you why.

Get ready for answers.

Selfish? Perhaps. But the story line of Halo 4, particularly its ending, is the best out of all the games in the series and I will not ruin it for anyone who plans to play it and I certainly recommend any fan of FPS or science fiction do. 343 did an amazing job taking over for Bungie and the story they deliver is mature, entertaining, and much less cryptic than previous installments. 

"And that cloud looks like a space ship!"
"Shut up, Cortana, you're drunk."

After an unexpected cinematic featuring Dr. Halsey, the creator of the Spartans, that hints at the mental health of her Spartans (it was at this point I knew things would get interesting as the actual psychological aspect of the super soldiers has never been touched in the games before) we begin where the third game left off; Chief is awakened by Cortana inside the disabled UNSC frigate Forward Onto Dawn that has drifted toward an unidentified alien planet. After realizing the ship has been boarded by Covenant we enter a firefight that spans throughout the ship and on to the hull, ending in a climactic battle through open space and the shattered remains of an alien cruiser. You are then sucked through a gravity well and land on the alien planet's surface.

o

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things  is a digital representation of an
assimilated ancient human.

Welcome to Requiem, an ancient forerunner planet and the settting for most of the game. You will battle through canyons, valleys, jungles, and massive alien structures on your quest to find the advanced UNSC ship Infinity that has approached the planet on the tail of Forward Onto Dawn's distress beacon. The three major plot points of the story come up at this point: the forerunner antagonist called the Didact whom you unwittingly release from prison (and who's true motive I won't spoil here), the new batch of Spartans on board the Infinity led by a real prick of a Captain you'll continuously butt heads with, and the fact that Cortana is rapidly thinking herself to death inside of your head.

Prepare yourself for feels.

Cortana, as an AI, has a lifespan of about 7 years. It has been 8 since her creation. The condition she is facing, called rampancy, causes her to break down into conflicting copies of herself like insane digital schizophrenia. Her condition steadily worsens as the game progresses; she argues with the conflicting personalities that are created as she breaks down, struggles to maintain her composure as she hacks enemy computer systems, and even disrupts your internal computers and display as she struggles to hold it together. Master Chief, being the relentless totem of bad ass that he is, refuses to acknowledge Cortana's failing health and continuously tells her that she will be fine and that he will get her back to Dr. Halsey (who created Cortana from her own nuero-tissue) and save her from herself.

Leave it to DeviantArt to find this image.

Cortana's deteriorating condition is the driving force of the narrative. She has been your trusty blue companion throughout the entire series and hearing her scream in agony as her very essence is ripped to shreds is gripping, as is the Chief's determination to save her. In the second act it becomes all too apparent how much you rely on her to survive on the battlefield as her abilities to navigate the terrain, manipulate technology, and coordinate allied forces are compromised. It's this arc that keeps me thinking about the game and it's powerful conclusion after I completed the campaign. It's what's got me excited about this new addition and what it means for future installments. The story exquisitely handles the relationship between Chief and Cortana, from it's  borderline romantics, to its grand design as the fruition of all mankind's effort and evolution.

The Mammoth is so friggin' awesome.

As far as the mechanics go, the game is tight and challenging. The new breed of enemies, the Prometheans,  are coordinated and challenging. There are several noteworthy moments like manning a giant land carrier called the Mammoth and making your way through a massive valley with acidic rivers and a spaceship shattering rail gun to piloting a fighter through a trench on the Didact's ship in a scene that will have Star Wars fans creaming their pants. The game really picks up in the second half and expect to encounter a lot of mechanics that exist in just a single level and never to be seen again which keeps the game fresh and interesting. You will also notice a lot of the redundant level design that was heavy in the previous games is missing. Don't expect much in the way of weapon innovation, all the staples are there and going nowhere (although rockets no longer lock on and there are mechs.)

Being able to shoot while holding the flag is a welcome addition.

Multiplayer is back with a new Spartan Hub interface which allows you to customize load outs and buy perks similar to the Call of Duty franchise and is so big it requires a second disk that needs to be installed on your HDD to play or downloaded from Xbox Live. There are ton of armor customization options this time around, some you unlock just by leveling up and others that require specific challenges to be met, like running over 50 guys with with a Warthog. All the familiar modes are there, Juggernaught (Regicide), Zombies (Flood), Capture the Flag, SWAT, and Big Team Slayer to name a few though I'm still waiting on them to add multi-team so I can get back to Rocket Race. Firefight has been replaced by Spartan Ops which is a separate campaign that is released as episodic content and features your custom-made Spartan as a member of Crimson company that is composed of you and your buddies or match-made players and trust me, after playing it you won't miss Firefight at all.

Who needed giant robots? Halo needed giant robots.

As a Halo fan I was not disappointed. 343 did an amazing job and they make a point to thank the fans for allowing them this chance to take Halo in a new direction as evident in the credits and the first pop up message that appears when you boot up the game. The music, graphics, voices, and game play all exceed expectations and had me hooked in a way video games haven't for a very long time. So go buy it and suit up, Spartan! Those alien bastards aint gonna teabag themselves!

Lightning Warfare: A Look at Tribes: Ascend

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Foreword

This is my first look at the beta of the free-to-play adaption to the Tribes franchise; Tribes: Ascend. Alright, I'll admit that the only Tribes game I've played is Tribes: Vengeance and only after the multiplayer was thoroughly dead. So, don't expect a nostalgic look back. Instead, expect a look into the future of frictionless warfare!

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Concept

The game focuses around the conflict between the Blood Eagles and the Diamond Swords, leaving out the Children of the Phoenix and the Star Wolves. It is always possible that the two factions may be added at a later date.

The game has twelve different classes to choose from. There are four light , five medium, and three heavy classes. Each class has its own unique gear set and purpose. Light classes are flag cappers while heavy classes are made for defense and medium classes tend to be general purpose.

There is a leveling system in T:A. Each class has an XP meter. The more you play that class, the more XP you will get for it. With the XP, you can buy upgrades for that class. The upgrades tend to be ammo, damage, speed and capacity boosts, though there are others. The XP is specific to each class and cannot be used for others. Also with the XP, you may buy perks after finishing a class's tree. Each class has two perks and the perks can be used for any class, no matter which you got them from. "Convert to Shared XP" is a feature currently in the menu of the game, though it is listed as coming soon. It is unknown when it will become functional. Shared XP may allow a central pool of XP that can be used for each class, though you will likely lose some XP in the transfer.

Along with XP as currency are tokens and gold. Tokens and gold are used to purchase classes in the game, the gold price being lower than the token price. Tokens are earned through playing while gold is bought. You may also buy boosts with real money. After your first purchase, you get VIP status that gives you a permanent 50% boost to token and XP gain. The boosts you can buy double your XP and token gain for 10 or 30 days. They cost $7.95 and $14.95 respectively. Therefore, T:A is not a pay-to-win game, it just gives you a bit of a headstart. There is nothing you can get with gold that you can't get with tokens.

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Gameplay

Tribes: Ascend uses the same formula that previous Tribes games have used. Movement in the game consists largely of skiing and jetpacking. You ski downhill and across flat ground while you jetpack up slopes and over obstacles. Skiing is a function that lets you move without friction, basically sliding around with your only limitation and booster being gravity. When mastered, extreme speeds can be reached this way, especially in light armor.

Weapons are varied throughout the classes. There are two classes unlocked as you first begin to play: The Soldier and the Ranger. The Soldier uses the classic spinfusor and energy pistol combo while the Ranger uses an assault rifle and a thumper grenade launcher. Both wear medium armor. The rest of the medium classes tend to use grenade launchers and automatic weapons. Also, there is an engineer class that can build turrets. That's pretty cool. The heavy classes use large weapons like the Doombringer's chain gun and saber launcher while the light classes are the most varied with sniper rifles, shotguns, and SMGs. Each weight type has its own spinfusor class, which is great because the spinfusor is probably the greatest gun in history.

There are currently three gamemodes: Team Deathmatch, Capture the Flag, and Rabbit. Team Deathmatch is your standard kill-them-because-they-look-different mode with one difference. In T:A TDM, there is a flag that drops after the first death. The team that holds the flags gets more points for kills. Capture the Flag is just standard CTF except you gotta go fast. Rabbit is a mode where there is a single flag. The player that gets the flag becomes the Rabbit and is marked for death. The rest of the players then chase down the Rabbit and kill him. The flag is dropped after the Rabbit's death and the person who picks it up becomes the Rabbit, continuing the cycle. The person who has held onto the flag the longest wins.

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Conclusion

Conclusion? What? Aren't you going to do Generic Technical Reviewing? No. This is a beta. A closed beta at that. The review will come when it's done. As for now, enjoy my phrasing. Anyway, Tribes: Ascend is great fun and is shaping up nicely. I can't wait to see all the features that will be added by release. As for now, it is only a PC game though the developers have talked about a console possibility. Not the Wii though, that would be silly. After this comes out, the developers will continue their work on Tribes Universe, the upcoming Tribes MMO. Oh the wonderment yet to be seen. Until next time folks. See you on the slopes.

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Hardships & Perseverance: A Review of Dark Souls

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Foreword

Remember how at the end of my Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine review I said my next would be Dark Souls? Well here it is. Finally. I've been procrastinating. I actually beat the game last year but am just getting around to the review. Don't let this dishearten you though, I promise I'll make it extra amazing, just for you. Also, you can think of it as consolation to you for waiting so long.

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Introduction

Dark Souls is a revisitation to the lands the sadist minds at FROM Software have created and released for the masochist inside all of us. This time around you fight your way through the region of Lordran, the Land of the Lords. As the Chosen Undead, your job is to usurp Lord Gwyn, Lord of Cinder, and take his crown for yourself. In doing so, you may continue the Age of Fire- or usher in the Age of Dark. With an array of sharpened metal sticks, large blunt objects, fiery hand gestures, and magical twigs, you fight your way through hollow undead legions, trying to fulfill your one destiny and decide the fate of the Undead.

Now it is true that Demon's Souls is my favorite game ever, so of course I was going to buy this. Hell, when it was announced I felt like riding a blazing horse through the ruins of a castle, sword held high and folk metal playing me through. That's how awesome I knew this game would be. Was it? Keep on reading.

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Challenge

The big selling point behind the "Souls" games is their difficulty level. The slightest mistake, missing your timing by a second, swinging at the wrong moment, all of these can and will get you killed. That's the beauty behind it, though. No matter what happens, your misfortune is your fault. Even if you hit for next to nothing and can't take a punch, you can still outmaneuver and outfight your opponent. I played Dark Souls the exact same way I played Demon's Souls. I was a realistic Knight. I got my Elite Knight's Armor, my Crest Shield, my Longsword, my Mace, and my Dagger. That's it. I relied on my skill and wits from there.

Now, the big question is, "Was it harder than Demon's Souls?" Well, yes and no. Dark Souls is harder in the way of enemy types, tactics, and resources. The healing grass in Demon's Souls has been replaced with an Estus Flask, which can have a maximum of 20 swigs. Of course it refills at every bonfire, but depending on the kindle state of the fire, it may not fill as much. In Dark Souls, some early bosses can and will be encountered as normal enemies later in the game and their strength is horrifying in every way. A boss fight a minute is a terrifying prospect, especially if you don't have the environmental advantage you had earlier or you are facing multiple bosses. The enemies themselves are much more varied, some undefeatable without a certain item or upgrade. This does not mean you cannot advance without the item, but you'd be crazy to try it. In the way of tactics, some enemies require quick maneuvering in small or deadly areas and some need a hit and run tactic in an infested area.

The beauty behind the Souls games is the level design. It is truly magnificent. The reason Castlevania was such an amazing experience was because it was so well thought out. The enemies were placed just so because the developers knew players would try something there or take that route. The Souls games mirror this, never passing up the chance to ruin your day by placing a snake-man with a large sword on a narrow bridge that is littered with bladed pendulums every few feet or placing archers that fire GOD DAMN TREE TRUNKS at you while you are on a thin arch.

But, Dark Souls is also easier than Demon's Souls in a way. The bonfire system is a godsend. Instead of dying and restarting the entire level, you go to the last bonfire rested at, which is a lot closer than the start of a zone. When you die, you no longer go into soul form and lose half your health. You instead "Hollow" and become an icky-nasty zombie. Whilst icky-nasty, you cannot kindle bonfires to raise your estus capacity, nor can you summon, though you also cannot be invaded. Also removed is the load weight, so now you can carry a billion pounds and not give a damn. But, the equipment weight is still there, so don't expect to roll around with that 500 lbs armor anytime soon.

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New Features

So what's new? What's different from Demon's Souls? Well laddie, the game is open world, for one. Instead of a central "Nexus" like in Demon's Souls, you may freely travel from zone to zone. It's not open world in a Skyrim sense, but more of a S.T.A.L.K.E.R. sense, allowing specific paths between zones, just without loading screens. The fun part about it is the fact there is no map. Exploring for yourself and finding hidden shortcuts between zones is a relief and suspenseful, never sure of what's around the corner or where the nearest bonfire is.

The bonfire system is new as well. When fully upgraded, the bonfire serves as a med station, Blacksmith Ed, Stockpile Thomas, Maiden in Black, and courage booster. With the purchase of smithing tools, you can upgrade and repair your armor yourself and the bottomless box allows you to store weapons and items.

Also new is Pyromancy. Instead of being classified under magic, fire and poison arts are classified under the primitive art of harnessing natural power: pyromancy. The Pyromancer class is the new Royal class, the spells are surprisingly strong, but not exactly varied.

Finally, there is the covenant system. There are nine covenants in the game, each with its own perks and purpose. They are highly recommended due to the spells, items, or assistance they may give. The Warriors of Sunlight, for instance, give you lightning spells and turn your summon sign gold. When you see a gold summon sign in the game, you rush for it. The "Sunbros" are the most sought after phantoms there are and have no problem being summoned. Conversely, the Darkwraiths gain the "Red Eye Orb" and invade worlds for the sole purpose of being a dick.

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Generic Technical Reviewing

Graphics- HOOOOLY FUCK THAT'S A DETAILED GOD DAMMIT I'M DEAD. The graphics look pretty nice, the only real issues being clipping. Two-handed weapons tend to enter pauldrons all the damn time. But hey, to fix this, they would need to make custom animations for each armor and fuck that. In large areas, the game tends to lag a bit. Blighttown is a big perpetrator of this. Parrying enemies in large environments or when large bosses do large attacks tend to lag it as well. Other than that, it's quite pretty, especially the cutscenes and more scenic spots in the game, such as Anor Londo.

Gameplay- WHACK THAT TAIL! I love the Souls gameplay. The lock-on system still works and it all flows together right well. The game is only difficult if you are brash or clumsy and that's how it should be. Also, a lot of bosses involve getting something if you hack off their tail. I thought that was worth mentioning.

Sound- PWSH! RAAARGH! FWOOOSH! The game only has music at the zone entrances, "safe" zones, cutscenes, and boss fights. It's damn good too. The voice actors are actually pretty good and portray their characters well (Plus Siegmeyer's battle chant is epic). The only problems I have with the sound effects are that, from time to time when you parry or backstab, it makes a jet engine noise, kinda a PWOOOOOOOOOIISSH noise. It sounds silly.

Multiplayer- OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK PLEASE DON'T FIND ME. The Souls game's dynamic drop-in multiplayer system is fantastic. The sheer relief of finding of a summon sign before a boss or the terror of hearing the noise of a rising phantom you didn't summon is lovely. Rolling through undead while helping a beginner or stomping a veteran into the dirt is a highly satisfying experience. It's a shame the servers aren't optimized for shit. People sliding around and backstabbing from a mile away aren't as prominent anymore, but goddammit that is not okay.

Overall- I loved this game. It was amazing for me and it will be fun for a good long while more. So, what's better? Demon's Souls or Dark Souls? Sorry Dark Souls, but Demon's Souls still holds that title, though you aren't far behind. If you aren't sure about these games, don't delay. Get them. Until next time folks. See you in hell.

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(Yet Another) Katawa Shoujo review

Apparently, some people here are interested in my take on this little ditty, so I'll just get my two cents in and be gone.

I'm skipping the whole describing the game bits because it looks like the other three stooges have already gotten it pretty much covered.

When I had originally heard about KS some time ago, all I knew it to be was a crippled girl dating sim that got a bit of attention from a certain online imageboard. Soon, some of my associates started playing it as well, so I figured, "What the hell, why not?" I'm not a very clever man, so I'll just describe my experience in the order that it happened, instead of worrying about trying to make a sensible review.

First impressions for Act I were pretty favorable, considering the type of 'game' this is. It was written pretty well, and I could sense the effort those fellows at fourleaf put into the game. Art was pretty decent, and the music worked alright for the scenes. The characters were interesting and I was having a good time of things. Something I noticed was that, although, at times it seems like the choices you make in the story don't really impact that much right away, some of the decisions will end up with much different outcomes from the others. Subtlety is nice, but some might not enjoy that as much as others. Take the statement as you will.

After my decisions were processed from the first act, it seems that I ended up pursuing the path of the energetic track-star, Emi. I won't lie, going through the first scene of this path was quite disgusting for me at the time. It was so sugary-sweet, I felt like someone was injecting pure cane sugar, with a needle, directly into my eye. I actually had to step away for a while. Perhaps I'm just too cynical, I dunno. BUT, I decided that I wouldn't be deterred, and kept trucking. Past the first nauseating scene, things calm down a bit, and eventually I start finding that the rest of this isn't so bad. The story arc rolls on as you get to know Emi better, sharing laughs, tears, and eventually learning of her tragic past, before finally reconciling in each other and going on to live happy lives together(Maybe!). Oh, there's also some sex scenes here and there. (Emi's a bit too loli for my tastes, her MOM though, WHOA-OA) All in all, it was a cute, engrossing little tale of romance between 2 young people, and I was quite pleased with the read.

That was my take on my run of the game, so this is the part where I give my last thoughts on the piece as a whole:

Overall, I enjoyed the story enough to stick it out to the end, considering all I knew about it was that it was Cripple Porn: The Game. The presentation is swell, and the menus and options are all super easy to navigate. If you don't like romance novels or things of that nature, then Katawa Shoujo probably won't sway your opinion on the matter, but I invite you to give it a shot. It's free, after all. I can think of worse ways to spend an afternoon. I still feel it's important to remember, however, that it's still a game to try to get into the pants of a bunch of crippled high school girls. Though, if you're like me, you might find the story engaging on its own.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to unlock the rest of the paths and hundred-percenting this tale. 'Til next time.

-shadonickles

Feelings & Fire: A Third Review of Katawa Shoujo

Overwhelming Need to Help: My Experience As a White Knight

Ogachi's Review of Hanako's Story
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Okay, I grudgingly agreed to play through this with the sole purpose of proving I could. It's a visual novel with an anime style developed by 4 Leaf Studios (Here: http://katawa-shoujo.com/). It follows Hisao and his paper heart through his time at a school for the disabled. Whilst there, he goes after one of five disabled chicks, each with positive, negative, and "Well, shit." endings. SO! I downloaded it, thinking it was just some stupid weeaboo kawaii uguu nonsense I'd be done with in 2 or 3 hours of laughing. 8 hours later, I completed a story. It was... different, to say the least. Now, I'm not big into the whole "Video Games as Art" thing or "Visual Novels Can't Be Video Games" thing, but it was certainly a different experience from the usual. Perhaps, that the lack of total control was it. Sure there were choices in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" style, but no more than 16 or 17 per story, and all the stories share 9 or 10 of the same choices in the 1st Act. Even the whole "Normal Guy" thing has been done before, but it is presented differently. You are not just a normal guy trying to get by but having trouble with the world. You are the normal guy, frail and knowing the wrong move can kill him, but always trying to deal with the problems and concerns of others instead of your own, which hits close to home for a lot of people. Perhaps it's just novelty value, as was recently suggested to me. Perhaps it was interesting in its way. Perhaps I'm just bullshitting my way through this. I'm not sure. Alas, I must continue my tale. ONWARDS!

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Hanako's Story

AVAST! Minor Details and My Reactions to Unspecified Plot Turns Lie Ahead!

Right-o. So. I started as Hisao and went through my first week at the school. Along the way, I saw a girl will long, dark hair who seems to be constantly hiding from everyone, raising some suspicion. Later, I meet a blonde, blind girl, named Lilly, and so I take the time to converse with her before accompanying her to the library. Whilst there, I saw the same dark haired girl in the Library, reading alone. Out of instinctive chivalry (or maybe just curiosity) I chose to cowboy up and attempt to talk to her. After a few odd sentences, awkward silences, and her just jumping up and running off, I learned her name, Hanako. I also learned the had quite the collection of burn scars and SERIOUS social anxiety. Unlike Fat4all's sheer curiosity about her, I felt slightly obligated to at least attempt to force a few more words out of her. Who says chivalry is dead? I found out her and Lilly are friends. Thus, off I went, on a roller-coaster of confusion, unsure that I was making any progress or not.

If I could describe the story in two words, it would be "emotional baggage". Seriously, Hanako would need an entire brigade of Psychonauts to clear that out of her head. About halfway through the story, I thought I was finally doing right well, making good progress as Hanako was actually starting to talk to people. My success lasted a half second before it was crushed into the dust of false hope as she then had an emotional breakdown. The next day, I thought I was bringing her out of it and even believed so for a bit after that but lo and behold I was WRONG. Though, I do have patience so I toughed it out and kept trying to break her out of the mental concrete barrier she made around herself. Thus the white knight that is in my blood did not allow me to leave it be but instead forced me to have a sense of obligation to protect her. Towards the end, I had the feeling of success again and once again it seemed to have been smashed. But then, during some of the last lines of the final Act, I had gotten a message she had been trying to put across the whole time, and thus "Oh. Well. Shit." It triggered a strange response, an experience I can't quite put my finger on. It seems like there's a word for it but I just don't know. Luckily, I never got a bad ending, and instead got the good one. Huzzah.

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Generic Technical Reviewing

Music- I don't really see that much to praise here. It was good for the job it was doing, I suppose, but nothing amazing.

Writing- Fairly good, definitely made me think about it. I was actually impressed by this part, being not what I expected.

Art & Design- Eh, this is a bit complicated. It's standard anime art, but the character designs do well to fit the personality of the character they represent, and I suppose calling an armless girl "generic" in this regard would be... unfair.

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The End Is Here

So, was it good, you ask? Was it playable? Was it worth it? In a nondescript, hesitant and shortly put way, yes. I only hesitate because I suppose at heart I am still biased and dislike this kind of thing off instinct. Did I enjoy it? ... Yes. It was actually much better than I expected. Hell with it, it's free. If you've got time to spare, go for it. It's just like reading a book, just with more pictures, music, sound effects, small choices that end up having a dramatic effect, and etc. Until next time folks. See you on a walk around town accompanied by "Dust in the Wind".

Oh God, why do I want to play it again? Oh dear lord, why? What is this? What is this I am experiencing? Oh God, it's the same as before! I think I know what the experience is called now. Is this what they call... feelings? My God.

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Katawa Shoujo: A Review

I would like to start by saying I generally dislike anime, manga, cuteness, big-eyed, crazy-haired anything. It does nothing for me. When I approached this "game" I knew I would nitpick and do my best to not give it a chance. I came to terms with this before I got started with this review and made it clear to myself that I would finish this game despite my feelings towards the genre and be a man about this review. This is what I took away from it.

Ugh.

It fucking SUCKED. Okay, that was a bit rash. For the target audience of people who enjoy generic romance and high school drama it's gaurunteed to pluck the heart strings and leave the "player" with a sense of coming away with something rewarding and... good. I guess.

Pretty much.

What is Katawa Shoujo? It's a Japanese style visual novel dealing with dating disabled girls created by members of 4chan (don't let that fool you, it's legit and free to download and play so that's something). What is a visual novel? Think a choose-your-own-adventure book with a lot more text and fewer choices. You play as Shithead (I don't remember his name) who has a heart attack because he has arythmia and didn't know it and a girl asked him out causing Call of Duty blood to fill his eyes and his heart to explode. As a result you wake up in the hospital and find out you can't go back to normal high school because you're different now and get sent off to cripple camp. Sorry. Cripple High. Anyway, everyone there has some sort of disability or what have you even if it's not completely obvious and it's up to Shithead to go out there and bless one lucky disabled lady with his cripple dick. Think of it as a school for super heroes except instead of super powers they are missing their legs or blind and there's no laser fighting, just talking and drama and romance and crap.

Expect things more nonsensical as this, i.e. "time is a gooey mass"

The first act of the game determines exactly who the recipient of said cripple dick will be. Don't expect to be able to directly control who the lucky lady is, the games handle choices as indirect and vague questions dealing with your opinion on certain things and how you spend your time rather than how to approach a challenge or situation. With visual novels it's all about the placement of the protagonist rather than how you would solve a problem so you're forced to view the world through Shithead's eyes (the guy is as exciting as a dead cow). Your choices in ladies are Armless, Legless, Deaf, Blind, Burnt, and a dude who looks a lot like Harry Potter.

Well at least it's not obvious.

Anyway, the games dialogue is very repetative and cute and you take away from it what you will. Expect to be told the trees are green a lot. I went down the path of Legless and got to have weird cripple butt sex at one point. That was the highlight of the story. This was only after 6 hours of reading about Shithead's feelings and boring developing romance and how protective Legless is about why she's Legless but she pretends to not be legless so... yeah. Anyway, somewhere along the way I screwed up and Legless never spoke to me again and the game ended.

Stupid BITCH! You broke my HEART!!!

Think of the choices as kitten cannon, where you aim and shoot and hope you don't land on spikes. There isn't a real target you're aiming for or anything you're just hoping for the best, at least that's what it felt like to me. Normally I would have been content with Shithead's failure and the game ending but by this point I admit I kinda cared about Shithead and what happened to him. I felt like his conscience and somewhere along the way I failed in guiding him to sweet cripple heaven. So I opened up my last save and made sure he got his happily ever after.

Facesole

In short, if you've got some time to kill and you're into the whole high school drama thing with a sprinkling of disabled girl hentai then go ahead and give this "game" a shot. If you would rather enjoy an intriguing story with tons of action and twists then go pick up A Game of Thrones.

*SPOILER* This guy DIES.

Reach for the Tuesday: 20 April 2011

I know it's been a while since I've posted practice results so let me just say...

Man, it took us a minute but once we started working together we rolled pretty hard.

Ryan always bitches about sucking and then goes on to have the highest score of the team.

Man, we suck ass. This went down to a lack of communication. We spent most of this match arguing with each other to the point Fat muted Dillon and I lost my cool and Ryan giggled.

They were the better team. They kept the pressure on us to the point where we couldn't move at all out of our base.

In short, the complaints are the same. Lack of communication and map superiority. We need to focus on map specific strategies that are more thought out than "I've got the sword, Dillon, get the turret, Fat, get the sniper rifle, and Ryan, look pretty!"