SLENDERMAN VS. HOLLYWOOD

If there is one horrible, disgusting creature that wants to wrap it's tentacles around your wallet it's Hollywood. This is what happens when said creature figures it can exploit the interweb sub-culture for movie ideas:


They didn't even have the decency to make him look like something other than a homeless Ezio Auditore da Firenze.

Yes, The Tall Man. The imdb page offers the synopsis of :"When her child goes missing, a mother looks to unravel the legend of the Tall Man, an entity who allegedly abducts children." The fact they're using Jessica Biel as the hook should be evidence enough this thing is gonna blow monkey dick across the land.


I mentioned monkeys so this relevant... I think.

Why would they do this, you ask? Because Hollywood is greed in manifest and they need money, all those starving movie execs need their coffee, dammit. As for why they chose to turn a meme into a movie, your guess is as good as mine. I doubt this thing is targeted to fans of the Slenderman himself but rather the result of a prophecy that foretells of an upcoming shift of interestet towards a semi-popular idea that resulted in an accountant-bred script that was hashed out to make a quick buck. The people who made the decision to make this movie, the same breed who forced the reboot of Spiderman though for slightly different reasons, have been at this game for a long time and they can probably smell upcoming trends like my dog can smell bacon through a lead wall. I'm not saying memes are about to take a sudden leap into mainstream pop culture but... what if?

They're starving.

The Slenderman is a legendary meme and I won't go into the back story of the character here; however, if you're interested, MemeBase offers a thorough description of how the guy came to be and how the Internet blew him up into the modern mythological, web-based powerhouse he is today. If you don't feel like sifting through all that crap here's my description: He is a faceless, skinny, tall, pale dude in a suit with tentacles (sometimes), and has a thing for stealing kids and standing creepily in the background.

He was photo bombing before it was cool.

To me he can be seen as a metaphor for the average American's fear of the government, a faceless entity with many arms preying upon children and the unwary. He has no apparent rules to where he can be and he is always watching his victims day and night, even in their own homes. He is frequently portrayed in wooded areas distanced from civilization which could also be symbolic of the tendrils of man pushing out the nature-based monsters of the past and extending into the wild, leaving no place untouched. He is a modern day boogie man, a representation of our society's fears and paranoia and there is no safe place from his grasp. I find this all very ironic considering the commercialization that is actually happening to him as represented by the release of this movie, and thus proving once again how Hollywood loves to rape the good out of everything.

I couldn't resist.

If you're truly craving a Slenderman film-based narrative I suggest the pretty decent Marble Hornets series on YouTube. It's told from the first person, shaky-cam perspective of a college student who's trying to track down his friend who is apparently being stalked by the elusive Slenderman for unknown reasons, though in this series the monster is referred to as 'The Operator' but who gives a shit? It's still Slender and it's worth a watch, especially if you're into the Paranormal Activity/Blair Witch style of storytelling.

This is a screen from Marble Hornets.

But that's that. Who knows, maybe I'm just talking out of my ass (not surprising) and needed something to post this week. Regardless, here is a small Slenderman gallery I've dug up from various sources around the web. Take a gander and try to get some sleep tonight (click the picture to enlarge).

The Splendidman

Fun.

Buzz Slenderman

Hint: Look left.

This is the most disturbing to me.

Ha. Nostalgia.

I don't...

Slenderhitcher

BATTLE OF THE CENTURY

Style.

Daw.

Maybe he's just trying to recapture his youth... GEDDIT?!

:D

More creepiness.

My people will call your people.

Slenderman by Tim Burton

Dr. Octoslendamang

No smiles in the slender parade.

His true motivation.

Completely irrelevant but this randomly came up during my search and I had to share.

Flame On! (yeah, I know...)

Aloha Everyone!

This is a test of the early blogging system. Had this been an actual emergency, you would not be here.

If you have several questions that need answering, I know a great number of people at my College willing to share.

Despite the odd ball sleep pattern, life is becoming increasingly more enjoyable. Interests in Anime and Games are limited to irregular patterns of interest, but I do very much enjoy the hard work that goes into each production.

Titles include: Evangelion, particularly "Endless Waltz"; Final Fantasy and very recently Darksiders 2.

 Sideline interests are Environment, Education and slew of others - including my current Major Graphic Design. Currently, I am not taking work outside of class just yet. Nightmare course load going on.

Other than all of those lovely syllables...

How are you doing?

Later cowboys.... (Cowboy Bebop)

Editor's Note: This is the first post by one of our newest contributors, the fantastic Jonathan Allen! He's one of the my good buddies from the Navy and I'd like to extend my personal welcome and you all do the same. -DraconisTheory

What? A Girl? On Raptor Inc.?

Oh yes. A female has been added to the team, and a redhead at that. I’m Auverin – the newest and palest face at Raptor Inc.

This is how I wear a Raptor Inc. t-shirt:

I don’t really like to talk about myself a lot because I am weird and awkward and I tend to leave important things out…mostly I forget to warn people that I am weird and awkward. But you have been warned, so now I can get to the important stuff.

I am indeed 100% female, and the very lucky girlfriend of DraconisTheory (as mentioned in a recent news post, I believe). I’m a starving college student. Well, not starving, but I’ve had popcorn as a meal more than once this week. I write, I paint, I play music. And I do game on occasion. I wouldn’t say I’m avid enough to beat any of these guys at anything, But I do play enough to kick some ass in RPGs and occasionally give DraconisTheory a spear to the face.

I can’t quite say what sorts of things I am going to post, because once again I am rather odd and prone to act on a whim. I can say that I am helping out with a brand new project that will be rather expansive. As it was said earlier in the month, the project is still in a conceptual stage, but I am its writer, and therefore I am held responsible if it never gets done. So that will be my job for the next few months. Getting that shit finished. Somewhere in there I might actually post something relevant. Who knows?

I don’t have anything else of merit to say, so I’m just going to end this awkwardly and abruptly.

Tschau.

Comic: My Life in IT

So let's get these weekly comics started back up, okay? They may not be grand, but they'll at least be a bit more frequent. Hopefully the other guys will follow suit, if not, FUQ 'EM.

Raptor Inc. News - 17 August, 2012

Yeah, we're terrible at keeping this thing updated. Here's what we're ACTUALLY up to:

Shadonickles has a job and is being fat.

Fat4all has two jobs and is being fat.

Ogachy-ie is about to be a senior in high school and I assume will also be being fat.

DraconisTheory has a girlfriend and a job and is being fat.

The End.

As for projects: The movie is at a standstill until I can get a better system to edit the video. I have no idea how long this will take. We're fiddling with new T-shirt designs and will keep you posted. We have a big project coming up that will involve, sound, writing, and video and it's still in the conceptual phase but I'm pretty excited about it and will involve the newest member of the team.

That is all.

Book Review: the perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

It's a book!

The perks of being a wallflower is a book about being a troubled teen. His troubles are varied, social, and may surprise you with their realism. The story is told through first person letters to a mystery recipient, all you know about the man who is reading Charlie's diary is that he "could have had sex with that girl at the party but didn't" and Charlie thinks that he is worth writing to.

I love you creepy word man.

I admit I was hesitant to read this book, not because I wasn't intrigued by it's concept, but because I don't like depressing stories, especially ones that make me remember my own confusing and angst-filled teenage years. It was recommended to me by my girlfriend who has a special fondness for these sort of tales even though they have the habit of eliciting the most unpleasant of emotional responses. Don't get me wrong, this is not the saddest or wrenching story I have ever read, I'm just saying it makes you feel. When looking for an avenue of entertaining story time most people are hunting for just that, entertaining story time, not feelings; those critters can be scary.

Bitches be trippin'.

Charlie is a highly intelligent boy and a joy to live with during the course of the book. It's a shorter story, only 206 pages with standard young-adult-fiction style font and easy pacing. Charlie is an observer and a boy of great understanding of his peers. However, all of his troubles begin when he takes the advice of his teacher and begins to peel away from the wall and "participate" in the life of a social high school student. Shenanigans ensue, including dealings with the Rocky Horror Picture Show, pre-2010 hipsters, pot brownies, and prom.

Swag.

There are a couple controversial tones which I will cover here and they may be spoiler-ish so please skip ahead if that isn't your thing. First: Homosexuality. Charlie's best friend is gay and having a relationship with a popular football player who wants to keep the relationship a secret. After they break up and Patrick (Charlie's friend) proceeds to have a complete fucking melt down and he uses Charlie to alleviate his loneliness and they end up having drunken make-out sessions. Now, this whole situation got to me at first but then I allowed myself to open up and really think about it. Charlie is trying to help his friend. Throughout the story you learn to what lengths he will go to and what sacrifices he will endure for the sake of his friends. It's an emotional and very real thing.

I'M TRYING TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

(Still in Spoiler Mode) Second: Insanity. Charlie has problems. Yes, he is intelligent and understanding and amazing but there's an underlying core to this. It all stems from his Aunt's death and Charlie struggles with this and his own fragile mind at especially angsty moments of his freshman year. It brings up the topic of how we should treat teen mental problems, medication, etc. and can inspire deeper thought. (Yeah, there's a bit of sex and suicide but they didn't hit me nearly as much as those first two topics.)

Craaaaaaazy.

(Spoiler Mode over) In closing it's a good book and I recommend it to anyone who doesn't mind turning back the clock to those confusing and exciting years and seeing the institution of high school from a unique social perspective.

My mom put mustard on my sandwich... I may cut myself....

Best quotes:
"Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve."
"Not everyone has a sob story, Charlie, and even if they do it's no excuse."
"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

Self explanatory.

Also, there is a movie coming out in 2012 that was written and directed by Chbosky himself.

Watson. Yes.

What the hell... AN UPDATE?!?!??!

What's happenin'.

After a long, long, LONG absence in which nearly every member of our blog went through various changes in their lives (new jobs, moving, etc.) I am happy to announce that we will be indeed be making a return to normal posting!

Woohoo.

Yay?

Whatever...


ANYWAYS!


Expect new posts in the coming week, including some reviews and goodies from yours truly! (I'm sure you can't wait)

He knows.