Monday, December 20, 2010

System Stasis #1 - Super Nintendo

November 21, 1990. The Super Famicom is released in Japan. Less than one year prior, I was born.

I was three months from turning two when it got released in America as the Super Nintendo Entertainment System on August 23, 1991.

I would not receive a SNES until 1993, but up until that point I was anticipating it. When I was three I started playing my old Game Boy and my older sister Heathers NES. But when I did get the system, I knew I wanted to be a gamer from that point on.

Its hard to talk about one of your favorite systems and NOT gush over every single thing about it. From the fantastic library of games, to the easy-to-use controller, even down to the mentality of just having the thing. If you had a friend who didn't own one, that's what you would do that day, play some SNES.

Lets start with what I remember, what I liked, loved, and hated, and also what I think of the system now, in greater depth. This console, born into the fourth-generation of game systems, kindling to the 16-bit era Console Wars, is here to stay.

The Super Nintendo launched in North America with one game included, Super Mario World, and what a game. I can attest to many sleepless nights, just staying up playing this amazing platformer. Not only did it have an amazing soundtrack and awesome level design (one of the best over-worlds ever), but it was Mario, and at this point in gaming, Mario was king.

From that point on, it was an endless blur of either one of two things:

1. Amazing, top-notch original titles.
2. Crappy, crappy games.

I'll give you just a small teaser of some of the worst I've owned. Ever hear of the game 'Mario is Missing'? It was a game that starred Luigi, trying to save Mario. I was excited at first, I though "A game where you play as Luigi? Cool!' But I soon found out the horrible truth. It was an educational game. Ugh. Another shit-stain in the pants of my childhood would have to be Wayne's World. I don't wanna talk about that one...

Well, No more, I can't think about those shitty shitty games anymore, even though there were a few more (Bebe's Kids, Shaq Fu) NO, NONONO DARRIS. No more!

Well, lets talk about amazing Snes games. Its not, in any way, a hard list to come up with. Super Mario All-Stars, Super Mario RPG, Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Gradius III, F-Zero, Mega Man 7, Mega Man X, Super Castlevania IV, Super Star Wars, Street Fighter 2: Turbo, Pilotwings, Super Mario Kart, Killer Instinct, Super Metroid, Super Punch-Out, Donkey Kong Country 1, 2, & 3, Final Fantasy III (aka VI), Secret of Mana, Chrono Trigger, Earthbound and The Legend of Zelda: Link to the past, just to name a few.

Any one of these titles were a sure-fire hit, and would assure you months and months of gaming glory.

This console was not only a revolution in what video gaming was, but what it could be. It turned video gaming into a proper business, and gave tons of developers a start in the industry. It was not only one of the greatest gaming consoles of all time, but it made so many people today into gamers, and gave them that gaming mentality. I'm slightly worried about today's 'gamers'. I wanna say to them, "just because you got an Xbox and a copy of Halo, that doesn't make you a gamer", but that's the wrong thing to think.

We all start somewhere. When a kid sees the Star Wars movies as their coming out, 70's, 80's, learning that Darth Vader was Luke's father was an amazing an unbelievable twist, but a child watching the movies today for the first time might not have the same experience. Would you let them watch the prequel trilogy before the older ones, or make them watch the originals first? If we, as gaming adults, want our kids to be exposed to video gaming, what should we do? Let them play with their friends on Xbox Live, or hand them a SNES controller? It's very hard to say, as part of being a gamer is playing with friends, and sharing those experiences.

As some of you in our group know, I've moved closer into my local town, now being just a short walk to get on High-Street. Located there is a vintage video game store, filled with games and game systems of all kinds.

I can assure each and every one of you that as soon as money allows, I shall rebuild my glorious gaming collection, and own this fantastic system once again.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Rant - Dreamworks is a Fucking Slut

Shrek was a good movie. The second was good as well. The third? Not so much. Oh, are you shitting me? Another one? The final chapter my ass, I assure you that if they get the chance there will be another Shreak movie.

Dreamworks Animations has always been three steps behind their main threat, Pixar. Every once and a while, they will stumble across a good script (How To Train Your Dragon, Kung Fu Panda) and get lucky as hell.

Well, now their going to fuck those series up as well.

Jeffery Katzenburg, the chief animation director at Dreamworks just hinted at the fact that 'How To Train Your Dragon' could get two more movies, and that 'Madagascar' might get two more as well. And that's not all. 'Kung Fu Panda' could be up to six movies long. SIX.

It seems like Dreamworks just wants to milk their franchises for all their worth before even attempting to try something original.

Lets remember some of the craptastic attempts at squeezing in on Pixars originality. First there was 'ANTZ'. This movie wasn't bad at all, but it was practical made to compete with Pixar's 'A Bugs Life', a movie that started development shortly after 'Toy Story' was finished. Next there were a few 2D animated movies that weren't too bad, and actually had some originality. Then came 'Chicken Run', a movie that actually had a lot of charm and great animation (thanks to the fantastic British studio Aardman Animations, who unfortunately went on to make CGI dump Flushed Away... ugh).

Then comes many more movie, ranging from 'meh' to just plain bad. How To Train You Dragon was actually a very well made movie, and Megamind was passable. But this is nothing compared to what Pixar's been up to.

Well, let them whore themselves out. I don't care anymore. If anything, Pixars has shown that animated sequels don't have to be phoned in shambles. Toy Story 3 was fantastic. A sequel is being made to Cars as we speak., and even though Cars wasn't my cup of tea, I'm sure it will be as top notch as the rest of their works. Hell, while they work on Cars 2, they also have Monster's Inc. 2 in the works (a movie that definitely deserved a sequel) as well as working on an all new original movie, 'Brave'.

So Dreamworks... six Kung Fu Pandas? How about you do five and make something original again.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Taste My Comic Goodness

Thats right, my first comic is up now. Let that sink in, then proceed. Its simple, yet awesome. Enjoy.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Comic of Dillon

Frankie is working on some commissions he didn't do and he needs done soon, therefore, he had no time to work on a comic. SO! Instead, I shall be posting one. I have been working on sprites and just threw this together in about 15 minutes as a test, not proud. So here it is. Halo based.

On a side note, I am about done coloring the rest of the comics released, so I shall replace them with full color ones soon.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Column - DraconisTheory's Best Column Ever : McDonalds

I fucking hate McDonalds. Not like "oh man I hate it when I stub my toe in the doorway" but like "I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF AND SHOVE MY COCK IN YOUR EYE SOCKET UNTIL YOU DIE" kind of hate McDonalds. What sparked such a fury that I had to post about this, you ask? I got a double quarter pounder meal today. On the soda it said: "refresh with JOY let the little bubbles tickle as they quench your thirst." On the bag the "food" came in it said this cheeky little phrase: "celebrate the JOY with a little crinkled crunch on your Angus Third Pounder." I know what you assholes are thinking, "what's so wrong about that?" Well I'm glad you fucking asked!

McDonald's head is far up their golden arches they don't even realise how much people hate their god damn food! To say that eating at McDonald's provides some sort of "joy" is to say that the Holocaust was kind of fun. I haven't been happy to eat at that hell hole since I was young enough to enjoy the cheap ass plastic shit toy thing they passed off as their latest marketing attempt to get people to buy their shit by getting their kids to say "I WANT THAT NEW GAY ASS SHIT TOY AT MCDONALDS 'CAUSE THERE IS A MOVIE OUT RELATED TO IT!" I hate kids but that's a rant for another time. Sorry about the caps lock, really that shit is retarded but it's the only way to properly convey my proportional rage other than this: FUCK.

To tell the truth I absolutely hate myself every time I eat at McDonalds for forcing my body to digest whatever shit they pass off as food. Ask anyone you know what their favorite fast food joint is. If they say McDonald's they're fucking insane and are lieing to themselves and should be forced to give up their first born son to Ronald McfuckingDonald's zombie corpse. Might as well! There needs to be a damn Krystal's in Hawaii...

News - More 'Darris' Columns Ahead!

Ok, here's the deal. I am planning 2 new segments in addition to my 'Darris Talks About Games' smash-hit.

These will be:

"Darris Reviews..." - In which I, Darris, review said item. Could be a videogame, could be a movie, could be a new flavor of gum. Whatever I give the product in my review will be law. So, if I say to burn it to the ground, I expect everyone to go grab their lighters.

"Darris Talks About Anime" - Could also replace 'Anime' with 'Manga' when if feeling a bit cheeky. In this segment I will discuss anime, manga, and everything to to with them. This could mean a new series coming out, a collection I recommend, or the artstyle of certain artists. It could literally cover any topic to do with the medium of anime or manga.

So, I'll be working feverishly on making these projects a reality, and expect another 'D-TAP' sometime this week.